UntitledWhy can't I just believeEverything you say?It would make me so happyGive me a place to belongPeople who want mePeople who need mePeople who just like that I'm hereBut why can't I accept it?Why must this doubt linger?Linger in the depths of my mindThe corners or my heartAnd make my belly feel full of stonesThis doubt that weighs me downWeighs me down and sinks meThese words that have the abilityBut lack the power to free meSpoken to me by these peopleThese people who can see meIt has happened several timesYet it has always seemed to crumbleAlways always because of meBecause I'm too much troubleThey tire of my shifty moodsFrom quiet to fizzy bubbleWhy oh why can't I just run?Why am I doomed to stumble?
One-walled HomePeople comePeople goWith each lossThere is room to growPain is feltLessons are learnedCries are voicedBridges are burnedYour heart blurs your visionYou trip on the liesYour heart gets brokenThe truth clears your eyesYou feel reborn from the fireAnd you feel the heat in your veinsThat keeps you from giving upThat gets you through the winds and the rainsMaybe somedayYou will meet your iron wallThat will keep you uprightThat will catch you when you fallIf that day comes for youI envy you but a tiny bitBecause in my heart It is just another chance to get hitDisturbing mind I haveAll weakness and a bitter heartNever trusting anotherForever promised to stand apart
DEAR: DiaryWanting, wantingLost in the needNot in materialBut loneliness is my greedNot in attentionI'm not that breed of whoreJust someone to be nearIs what I ask forI don't want a warm bodyI don't want romanceI just want to be knownMore than just a glanceI don't want a loverJust a place to belongJust somebody to love meIs that so wrong?I never feel wantedA central flawThrown away so oftenGuess the heart string is rawI get scared all too easyAfraid that I'm a boreIt goes back to the timeTo when I let myself be whoredI just want to pleaseIt is just that simpleEveryone wants roughWhen what I need is gentleI'm afraid of my honest opinionsMy mind's words scare everyone offIf they don't outright leaveThey sneer and they scoffI may have finally found a place, diary..It is probably too soon to hopeThe right moment, the right people...They saved me from that knotted ropeThey are accepting, and kindThey seem to even like meBut I worry weary my raw heartIs it too goo
UntitledSometimesYou just F a l la p a r tand cryuntil there isnothingleft to give.
The Truth Hits HardMy mind is a voidFill it with noiseHeart full of doubtAnd things God's only heard aboutFill me up by breaking inScreaming muscles, ripping skinGive me something easy to knowInflict on me a memory that will showJust this once I'll let down my guardSo just hit me once, twice, again and hardLet down your inhibitions and give me all you've gotKeep going, don't slow down, don't look at what you've wroughtDon't begin to care, not when you've made it this farJust for once, hurt me in a way that will scarForget the facade of love and sweetness, and give me all your hateBecause I always saw through the lies, now I want to know how much truth I can take.
UntitledLost in the middleCovered in dustLeft behind, a happy smileThat no one looks beyondYou put on a maskThat's what they seeThey don't look closerAnd look elsewhereI am too shy to scream outToo self-conscious to let goMy over-confident words hide what is behindThe cold, the hurt, the broken little heartI find somethingThat makes me happyAnd just as I feel likeI have a placeIt is taken away.And people wonder whyI leave.Because leaving is betterThan being forgotten.