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Heart and Mind
Like being torn
Between sight and sound
Which part of yourself
Would you give up on?
The consequences of each
Begin bearing down
I have to choose between
Saving you and
Saving myself from losing you
I am tearing myself apart
And you wait on the edges
With needles ready to poke and prod
A parody of healing what once was
And never again will be
I can never return
Can never save myself
I am lost either way
But should I drag you with me?
I will never be anything
A joke if there ever was
Kidding myself into a blissful hope
The 3 seconds that are killing me
'Ignorance is bliss'
'Truth sets you free'
One is truth, one is lie
But they both hurt
The ignorance was worse
The hope was the heaviest
Now I am free to hurt
Knowing the truth at last
Words from StoneFiltering my words
Can't control the thoughts
Knowing what I say has power
And that power hurts people
But what I say
Does not hold a candle to my mind
Each word is like drawing a sword from stone
Something lethal pulled from something raw and heavy
It seems impossible
To pull the blade from the boulder
Which is so much more, so much denser
But when I must, I reach and pull and do what I must
I can't leave it inside
To warp and rust to nothing
I have to say something
Anything! before I go crazy
The feelings in my bones
The feelings in my heart
They pull on the words, holding them away from me
Only by will and blood and magic can I create sound
But I cast aside the sword
And scramble to tear open my heartstone
To let out more, this can't be all!
It is still too heavy a weight!
Too much too much too much!
It is crushing me, and with each thought it grows
Underneath these ramblings, I turn into dust
And my words lay beside me, the only thing left
Questioning MyselfI feel truly twisted in this moment
If every human were to feel as I do, would the world be a place for the better?
Or a place for the worst?
How would I change the world if I were in charge?
How am I to know whether my impact will make walls or crumble them?
And whether the walls deserve to be destroyed or made?
Would the world burn and I laugh as I burn with it?
Or would it grow with a change of ideas, flourish under new light?
Or if instead, everyone were like me.
How would the world change?
Or does everyone already think as I do?
And no change will be made at all?
Would I be able to talk myself into decisions
or out of them, using a type of logic that is false but believable?
Working my head into circles and knots, tying myself down with words
And weighing myself down with the opinions of others.
Would a few of me lack the strength to continue?
Would a few have the strength to help those who cannot help themselves?
Would they feel as worthless as I do, struggling to make a place to
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